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We like to think that jealousy is a personal failure, a sign of immaturity, neurosis or pathology. Psychological science, however, points in the opposite direction. Although few of us go to Nowak’s extremes in attempting to destroy a romantic rival, we are all capable of jealousy. Contrary to common beliefs, jealousy exists in all human societies and is reliably activated by threats to a romantic relationship. My studies in the United States, the Netherlands and South Korea found that romantic rivals who have higher status or more money are more likely to cause men to erupt. Interlopers who are physically attractive or younger (Nowak is 43, Shipman 30) are more likely to stoke jealous passions in women.
By scanning the brains of volunteers who are instructed to imagine their lovers having sex with other people,
neuroscientists have found that jealous emotions excite the amygdala and hypothalamus, brain structures linked with both sexual and aggressive behavior. Jealousy also stimulates the posterior superior temporal sulcus, which activates when an individual tries to discern the intentions of others or perceives that social norms are being violated. Even merely imagining our partner in the arms of a rival causes substantial physiological distress -- a heart that races, electrodermal activity skyrocketing with a profusion of sweat, and muscular tension.
In a study of 5,000 people in six cultures, 84% of women and 91% of men admitted to having
had at least one fantasy of murder, and the vast majority fantasized about killing sexual rivals, often in painful and gruesome ways. Fortunately, most don’t act on their homicidal fantasies. Laws and morals are powerful deterrents to murderous impulses -- most of the time.
Jesus Christ
